Part 33: Chapter 33 (Battle) - Three Useful Bombs And Six Unnecessary Ones

Update 33 (Battle) - Three Useful Bombs And Six Unnecessary Ones

It's time for a new map!



So, for this mission, it was mostly left up to my choice, but Jake and Rachel were relatively ahead on votes, and they are our main characters, so I figured we'd go with them. I've taken Slam Guard on Rachel and Bruiser on Jake - Rachel's extra healing makes her a good defensive CO and Jake's plains bonus makes him a good offensive CO, so they should pair quite well with those skills.



Other than that, though, no much prep - we're ready. Our objective on this map, basically, is to open up those pipe seams and scatter bombs on Lash's army before it reaches us - we're roughly evenly matched, but as you'll see later, the black bombs put the odds massively in our favour.



Today’s Deployments
Fliss, Infantry
Carl, Mech
Alfonse, Mech
Fleur, APC
Michael, APC
Rin, Anti-Air
Von Panzer, Tank
Julian, Tank
Fred, Medium Tank
Dave, Medium Tank
Selena, Neotank
Ingo, Artillery
Lucy, Artillery
Paul, Artillery
Carter, Rockets
Peregrine, Battle Copter

Mostly Orange Star today, since we have two Orange Star COs, but a fun bunch nonetheless. Plus Peregrine, for airborne matters - she has a pretty important role early on in the map.



Black Hole sure loves weapons that self-destruct, don't they?

Maybe it's because they always leave the smell of gunpowder behind. I could dig that... It's kind of a nice smell.

What are you talking about? Oh, never mind. Let's just get ourselves some of those bombs.

Hell yeah--were you really going to play around with zero-drawback super-explosives and not let me have a go with them?

Yo, my dude! Welcome back!

Nice, he's back! This'll be a cakewalk now!

My dude. Figured things out, I take it?

Commander my dude?!

Yep, I’m back. And I want to apologise, Rachel-

Oh, don’t be so smug! We got on perfectly fine without you, so… Hang on. You want to apologise?

I’ve had a lot of time to think, and not just about tactics. It was something Jake said. He mentioned that you two formed such a good team because you both lost everything. Your land, your homes… your family. I thought that was ridiculous.

“But Rachel’s got Nell!” I thought to myself. It’s only now that I realise that wasn’t true, and it was my fault. You lost everything, and you clung so hard to Nell… which explains why you were so set against our marriage. You viewed me as a thief, stealing Nell away from you, didn’t you?

I…

I can’t promise to be the man that you think Nell deserves. Your standards are pretty high, after all. But I can say that I’ll do everything in my power to help you win this war, and…

I want to promise that Nell is still your sister. I don’t want you to feel like she isn’t, just because I’m married to her. She still cares about you so, so much. She’ll make time for you - all you have to do is ask.

My dude…

I’ve been working on my strategies. I’m not going to let one defeat get me down - I was too brash and overconfident at the start of this campaign. If I’d have kept it up, people would have died under my watch.

So I’m going to be more careful from now on. Rachel… can you accept me as your ACO once more?

Ordinarily I’d say something sarcastic here. But… that’s the most frank and honest that I’ve ever seen you be, my dude. And I appreciate that. I suppose I can let you rejoin us, but you’d better no go hiding in your office every time a problem arises!

No, no, ‘course not! I’m past that now, I did a whole character development whilst I was in my office. I’d best get down to the front lines to see how things are going, anyway. Colin’s gonna blow someone’s head off with that remote if we don’t stop him.

...And he’s gone, just like that.

Thank you, my dude…you might just make a half-decent ACO if you keep this up.



Alright, welcome to the map! I'm back in command, so let's get fucking started. First things first, we have a pretty beefy predeployed army for this map, but so does Lash. There's a nice chokepoint halfway down the map, which we're gonna be using to hold Lash's advance troops off. We'll have to move quick to do that, though, so we'd best get started.



We need to load up some troops - Fliss hops into Fleur, and she'll be going for those com towers in the bottom left - they're pretty out of the way, but well worth spending a few turns capturing them. Carl gets into Michael's APC in the meantime.

"Michael... we must move forward and defeat the enemy. I am glad to be working alongside you." Carl says, making a concerted effort to make normal conversation. Michael, ever the ray of sunshine, nods back.

"Same here, Carl! I mean, I'm not a big fan of blood, being a pacifist and all, but you're a mighty soldier. I'll be safer having you with me!"

Carl nods; it's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to him. "I... thank you, Michael. I shall slay anybody who looks in your direction - this I swear!"



Peregrine's heading up, meanwhile - she's the only unit we've got that can blast this pipe open, and seeing as the only airport is halfway up the map, closer to Lash than to us, and needs capturing before we can use it... yeah, this is just way faster. Bro copters do like 25% to a pipe seam so we'll have the black bombs ready to go on day 5.



The rest of our army just kind of surges forward. We've got to reach that chokepoint ASAP, and our frontline tanks, Julian and Von Panzer, can reach the chokepoint on day 2 if we're quick. And you guys already KNOW that a chokepoint isn't complete without a Von Panzer parked in the middle of it.



Time to see what Lash's army is going to do. Though, considering the sheer size of it, we already know she's just gonna charge us.



The main things to note here are the tank and medium tank way ahead of the pack - we need to hit the chokepoint mostly to block them off, pretty much. The other thing is that Lash has a couple of Neotanks. Always worth keeping an eye on those six-movement one-shotting motherfuckers.

I mean, yeah, we have a Neotank too. But like, I'm allowed to have one. I thought medium tanks were cool from day 1.

"Who's rocking the Neo?" Dave asks, turning and watching the tanks move forward. The voice that replies is familiar enough that Dave can recognise it instantly.

"It's not just Tina capable of using these things to their fullest extent." Selena replies. "I'll be commanding from the front lines today. Dave, can you direct the tanks?"

"'Course." Dave replies, grinning. "You heard the lady, tank squad! You listen to me!"

"Oh, I suppose we ought to then." Julian says in a sarcastic drawl. "Just tell me where to stand."

Michael and Dave, still suspicious of Julian's motivations, both roll their eyes at this. Dave sighs into the transceiver. "Move forward with Von Panzer and just hold the line, Julian. No backtalk, got it?"

"Man, it's nice to hear Dave chewing out somebody else for once," Carter says, sighing with relief as he mans the rockets.



Right, anyway, on with the map.



Peregrine makes a start on this pipe seam.

"Heya, Lucy! Shame you couldn't join me in the sky today!" Peregrine says as she opens fire. "Keep an eye out for the bombs, though - they're from you know who!"

"You're doing great up there, Peregrine!" Lucy shouts joyfully. "I wish I could be up there with you!"

"Heavens, Lucy - keep an eye on the battle on the ground first." Ingo says, smiling gently.



Fleur drops off Fliss by the com towers. This is the only thing Fliss is going to contribute to this map, but it's important and Fliss is cute, therefore it's worth documenting.



Here it is, the "chokepoint". Officially stuff can get past the trees, so we do need to move forward a little more, but by parking Von Panzer and Julian here, we massively limit how far forward the enemy tank can move. And they're still out of range of the medium tank, so it's a pretty perfect setup.



Peregrine's taking care of the rightmost pipe, but our artillery squad - Lucy, Ingo and Paul - will be destroying the left one.



The rest of my soldiers are arranged out of range of the enemy tank - our medium tanks, Dave and Fred, and Selena, will be replacing our tanks as the frontline, uh, tanks, next turn, so they're in position to do that now.



I would say something like "ooh I hope it all works out OK" but it's Von Fucking Panzer so I don't even need to worry.



Pictured: Von Panzer not dying.



I laughed when I saw this anti-air try and attack a goddamn tank. Was not laughing a few seconds later when it somehow did three fucking damage. The important thing is, though, Von Panzer continues to Not Be Dead.

Julian breathes out in surprise. "...So this is the power of Von Panzer. I had heard legends, but... seeing it in person is remarkable."

"Ngh! Ja, it is my duty to hold the line. And you must do the same, young Julian!" Von Panzer growls. "I must retreat - Dave, are the Verstärkung- um, reinforcements, ready?"

"I'm right behind you, MVP." Dave replies. "Head back and get yourself repaired soon as you can!"



The rest of Lash's army is slowly moving forwards. The trees and mountains are making her progress much slower than mine was, so all we really have to worry about this turn is that medium tank, and the stuff that attacked Von Panzer.



So, hey, let's do some murdering.



Don't want to waste my frontline unit's turns if I don't have to, so I take this anti-air out with a nice shot from Carter from afar.



Peregrine's still working on this. We've got to move fast, too - the black bombs do have limited fuel, and it is ticking down each turn like any regular air unit.



Fliss is making a start on these, also. That'll be useful once she captures both of them, but that's gonna be another three turns.



Ingo takes the first shot on the pipe. The other artillery units are slightly out of range, so I can't have my bombs this turn, tragically.



Fred can take on this tank, and does so with gusto. "A true hero destroys any foe in a single blow, just like Dimitri. HYAH!"



"Although, maybe I need to work on my strength..." he frets. Dave shakes his head.

"It's fine, Fred, we can handle that. Von Panzer, you can't retreat yet. You know that, don't you?"

"Harrumph!" Von Panzer replies. "Of course. I won't let this enemy get past me!"



Selena can, and does, destroy this recon in one shot, at least. Atta girl.



Next, Dave moves around to make him and Selena the new frontline blockade, and thanks to the mountain and layout of the water on the right, this is an actual chokepoint. They should be able to handle a medium tank attacking them, at least, though that city is going to make things annoying.



Von Panzer can just barely muster enough damage to ruin this tank's day.



Everybody else just kinda moves forward now that we have an actual chokepoint to work with. They're pretty safe so long as Dave and Selena hold the line. And helping them out is Paul - I don't need all three of my artilleries shooting that pipe, so one of them can come up here to harass anything that harasses my tanks.



Speaking of, it's Medium Tank Harassment Hour.



Oh, right. These guys are doing this in the meantime. Guess I'd better update the counter.

This [Redacted] Captures A Property: 28

...Who the fuck renamed my counter?

This Dick Captures A Property: 28

That's better. I can't trust anybody to report battles for me these days, god.



As predicted, the medium tank goes for Dave - it can hit medium tanks harder, and can do so from more defensive terrain, so it's just the sensible option, especially for a Lash unit. Still, it's in the artillery murder circle, so there's not much use in talking about it any more.



Lash's army continues to struggle with trees. Importantly, though, the Neotank...



I said before it's always worth keeping an eye on them.



And this is why - if we attack the medium tank from the right or above, we'll be in Neo range. Gotta avoid that as much as possible, so instead, we'll have to attack from below. But uh, not with Dave, he took quite a beating.



So close. Keep it up, Peregrine, I want those 'splodeys!



The artilleries are close to two-shotting the pipe, but not quite. How frustrating.



It's OK, Lucy finishes it off, releasing our bombs from their pipey prisons. Now we can start the real carnage.



God. Paul can barely scratch this thing. We'll need more firepower if we want this thing gone - and we do want this thing gone before the Neotanks start showing up.



But hey, we have these now! So, they work basically like they did when we first met them. High-flying explosive devices which do like 5 damage to everything in range - which I'm pretty sure includes our own units, so we do have to take care.



That thing has bomb written all over it! It's essentially a simple air unit without a main cannon or secondary guns...

But, also, crucially, I can spam them without needing to deploy actual named units that can die.

My dude's right, I think it's an unmanned weapon. We can control it from here with the remote. ...Why is my dude holding the remote?!

I wanna play with the bombs!

First my airstrikes, and now black bombs...you and Max are just military meatheads, aren't you? Well, if you want to use them so badly, the controls are simple, so we should be able to move it like any other unit.

Hey, let's try blowing one up!

Um...isn't that...dangerous?

Jake we are in a war.

Maybe not. This is a new kind of weapon, and I'm not familiar with it. Blowing one up is a good way to see how it performs.

"This tank looks powerful, but let's blow it up and see for sure how good it is."

That's not what I meant, and you know it! Bombs are SUPPOSED to blow up!



So yeah, when we move these around, we just have this great "Explode" option. Right now, however, I just want to position them better, so I keep them over the ocean. Next turn, they'll dive deep into Lash's forces and do their thing.



Julian moves in to start attacking this pipe... not that he does much damage to it. I don't really need the airport to win here, but I at least want to stop Black Hole from getting it.



Dave and Von Panzer can retreat to heal now, too, so they go do that. They've done their duty for this map.



First com tower down, too! Woo!



Fred redeems himself for his failed kill earlier by taking out this medium tank on Dave's behalf. Now that we've dealt with that, and we're still out of Neotank range, we can just wait for everything to come to us.

We have Bombs. They have Nothing.



I park Selena on the city - she is in the tank's range, but it would have to be a remarkably suicidal fucking tank to try attacking a Neotank on defensive terrain.



Lash is going to do a very suboptimal play here, which I call "not surrendering and continuing to play the game".



Sigh.

This Dick Captures A Property: 29



This Dick Captures A Property: 30

The big 3-0! I honestly thought they were going to capture more property than that throughout the game so far. Wonder if we'll be above or below 100 by the end? I reckon we'll be well below 100. Unless there's like, those AW1 capture-more-property-than-the-other-guy missions.



The two Neotanks are moving in. Were it not for my fuckloads of bombs, I'd be a bit concerned, but with them, I feel zero fear.



So, uh, let's get right on with that.



May as well let the other bombs come to play, too.

"Pipe seam destroyed!" Peregrine announces proudly. "Get fucking ready, the black bombs have been released!"



When we use a black bomb, Rachel gives us a little dialogue prompt, which I presume is for people who accidentally misclick "Explode" like the fools they are.

But yes, obviously, we want to blow it up.



That seems like a reasonable number of dudes to catch in the explosion. Plus we hit that capturing infantry too, can't complain.



And there we go. Flat 5 damage to everything in range. It's fucking insane.

Holy fuck, I can't believe it does so much damage with such a huge range. I love these things!

I knew it! This is the same thing that destroyed our copters on Bearen Island!

The bombs take five HP from any unit within a three-square radius. OK... Now we know what these black bombs can do!



Know what's funnier than one of those?



Two of 'em. Those Neotanks are basically worthless now, and so's the rest of Lash's army. Selena could probably rout them singlehandedly at this point. We won't do that _{because it would tank my speed score} but we could.



Our girl Fliss is still capturing away, too. She's helping!



Fred snatches yet another kill on an enemy, this time defeating a Neotank. If this were a Fire Emblem game, I'd be like "damn, Fred's snatching all the exp from my other units", but this isn't Fire Emblem, and so there's nothing Fred can do which will make me like him more than, say, Dave or Selena.

...What, yes, of course I like Dave and Selena an equal amount. They're both prominent main characters with interesting backstories, fun to talk to, why would I favour one over the other..?



Argh no I was distracted and I fucking misclicked--abort!

This is exactly why I didn't want you to have the remote. Give it here!

No, no, I can do it, just give me a second!



I arrange the rest of my black bombs like so - we honestly don't even need half of these bombs, but hey, the game's given them to us, I'm going to use them, unnecessary though they might be.



We're still chipping away at this pipe seam, too. We're, uh, gonna be here a bit longer.



Since virtually everything is on 1HP and can't hit us for any meaningful damage, I feel relatively safe pushing forward a bit more with Fred and Selena, with Carter for rocket support.



And we switch to Jake - we were playing defensively with Rachel, but now we're got a turn where nothing can really hurt us and we want as many kills as possible. Bruiser plus com tower support, not to mention the plains everywhere, will give Jake every advantage he needs for this next turn.



And when I say "next turn", I mean "upcoming bloodbath".



Lash still doesn't quite have the ability to use her SCOP yet, either, so she's in a really rough position.



This Dick Captures A Property: 31

She wins the moral victory by getting another building. She has to know how much it pisses me off. She has to.



Lash moves her units forward in a convenient diamond shape which seems to say "apply bombs here until I die", so hey, fuck it.



I don't even know why you'd leave yourself this open, but if you're going to, I'm not going to complain.



First things first, Fliss gets the second com tower. The buffs may be slight, but more damage is better damage! That's a quote from my new course at the My Dude School of Military Tactics, "How To Get The Most Out Of Your Medium Tanks, And Also Stop Deploying Units That Aren't Medium Tanks".



My units are also arranged in a diamond shape, but that's to avoid the black bombs rather than invite them in. Look at how perfectly I can just fuck these infantry units up.



They didn't have a hope.



And I still have three more bombs. This really is the most unnecessary amount of firepower I've ever been given in an Advance Wars map, besides maybe a predeployed Kanbei map.



Literally, Lash can't do anything about this. I wonder how expensive black bombs are? I guess when we don't get six free ones, they'll be a bit less convenient to produce. I imagine a tidy 20k at the very least, if not more expensive than a bomber.



But god, it's so worth it. A bomber can murder one unit per turn; two black bombs can decimate half an army per turn.



Boom. I mean, we have one bomb left, but like, nearly everything is on 1HP anyway.



I guess I'll do some damage to that anti-air over there.



This was a truly unnecessary amount of bombs.



Carter finishes off the APC. Our units are going to move forward and clean up now, and I want the APC and mech out of the way so they're not limiting the movement of my tanks.



Fred can crush the last Neotank - _{god, he really WOULD have been drowning in exp if this were Fire Emblem, maybe Fred is short for Frederick} - which is the only relatively threatening thing. Lash does have some properties, and I don't want her healing her more dangerous units.



Paul finishes off the mech, giving Selena free reign to just kinda slaughter stuff up north.



Lucy slaps an infantry from on high for the crime of thinking he could capture a goddamn airport on my watch.



Selena completely powderises a helpless artillery, meanwhile; the ranged units are the ones I'd rather not have sticking around, since they can head to a city to both heal and attack from afar.



The anti-air should be taken out of the way, too, now that I think about it. Also, wow, imagine barely managing to do 30% to an anti-air on 1HP. Makes me wonder if Peregrine would have taken actual damage if the anti-air had initiated on her instead.



Julian is attacking this pipe, but honestly, he's gotta put in more work. I'll have Lucy help him out next turn, now that the offending foot unit is gone.



The rest of my soldiers move forward, ready to fight. I need as much firepower as possible - Lash absolutely got her SCOP from all that murder that just happened, so she's going to be incredible hard to damage next turn.



And, seeing as a SCOP is on the way, I play it safe and go back to Rachel for that little bit of extra defence.



I don't imagine Lash is going to be able to do much, but better safe than sorry. This is what a new and improved, post-character-development my dude looks like, ladies and gentlemen!



...Even though I'm playing in basically the same way as I always do. But shush.



yes

shut up



This might be one of the most annoying SCOPs, in my personal opinion. She always gets it right at the end of a battle, and it always drags things out by making her last few units impossible to kill.



The only attack that occurs is this tank going for Dave, but the tank takes more damage from the counterattack than Dave does, so meh.



The rest of Lash's units join up where possible and make a beeline for the nearest city. God damn it.



Right, it's Lash cleanup time. Which basically means "desperately attempt to get kills on weirdly tanky units". At least defence stars scale less well for units on low HP, so it might not be too bad, actually.



So first, Lucy smashes this pipe wide open. The extra com towers helped out here, I'm pretty sure! She was doing way less damage to the seams earlier.



Julian can then nab a kill over here, since the road provides no defensive bonuses. Fuck you, missiles!



This tank, with six goddamn defence stars, is the real problem. Peregrine uses the last of her ammo to land a fairly solid blow on it.

"Gonna need more firepower to take this thing out!" Peregrine calls.

Dave nods. "We've got treads on the way - move out, everyone!"



Dave doesn't go for the tank, and instead takes this medium tank out.



Selena might be able to pull this off.

"It's a risky shot, are you gonna be alright taking it out on your own?" Michael asks with worry as he listens to the battle over the transceiver. Selena gives a rare smile.

"Of course. Witness the might of the Neotank!"

And indeed, she lands the crucial extra damage to finish the tank off. That's massively useful.



Fred continues hogging the exp by murderfucking yet another unit - this anti-air. The infantry was also in range, but someone else can deal with that.



And as Rin proves now, anti-airs should really be called "anti-air-and-also-fuck-foot-units", but I guess that's too much of a mouthful.

"There we go! Another foe down!" Rin cheers. Dave nods.

"Good work, kid. Not many left - we shouldn't have much trouble cleaning them up."



Two units left, and one of them can't even do damage. Yeah, we're fine.



We could capture the lab, but we got a ton of bombs, so routing seems like the obvious - and more fun - solution.



Julian is in range of the rockets, but he shrugs it off remarkably well, so I'm not worried.



Right. Let's finish the map!

...but wait. Let's do it in style.



More unnecessary bombs, perfect!

I don't know HOW you keep talking me into this...



Yup, airstrike time! For units with basically no HP anyway! Why not, right?



The first missile brings them both to 1HP already. Pfft.



BOOM! And one more...



...That was completely unnecessary.

Yes, but consider: hilarious.



OK let's actually finish the map. Selena sends this poor fucker to the Über Shadow Realm with like, 156% unnecessary extra damage.



And Fred takes care of business one last time. Man, he REALLY wanted to redeem himself after missing that first kill, huh?

Anyway! Lash is routed, and it wasn't even hard! This is probably the easiest map I've played thus far, that many bombs just made it effortless.



Hey! We found a blueprint for the black bomb!

Nice work! Now we can develop our own black bombs.

We already had some black bombs. Could we not have just reverse-engineered those?

Yes!! We could have...if SOMEONE hadn't blown all of them up!

...Point. Let's get developing, then.

Works for me! Those bombs are stylish!

Gwar har har! It's like a huge fireworks show...and everyone's invited!

Yes, I suppose. But you can only use them once. Isn't that a waste?

It's like you scratch that one phat beat that you'll never find again. I like it! I've got to master these things!

Wait, master, like mastering a song? Was that a subtle music pun?)

Commander my dude! I'm glad to see you in high spirits again.

Oh, Sasha, Rose, hey. I'm glad to be back--sorry for kinda losing my mojo for a little while, there.

My dude...I'm glad you're back. I may have bested you, but it was only once. I would still like to learn from you. If...if that would be alright.

Of course, Rose. You and I, we're going straight to the top, kid.

Th-thank you. I'll continue working hard--I'll see you later. I must report to Sensei about the battle.

Later, Rose!

You're surprisingly good with her.

Ah, I've known her a long while. I feel just a bit responsible for her development, you know?

Of course. I understand--I feel the same way about my brother. I just wanted to say...if you ever feel like you need to talk to someone, please feel free to confide in me.

Thanks, Sasha. I'll let you know, but don't worry. Right now, I'm feeling good. Let's keep the victories coming!



A tidy S-rank for an excellent performance. Not that I'm being arrogant, though, that just was a legitimately easy map. I'm not arrogant any more. Character development and all. But I AM brilliant.



Aw, and they're cute when they win together. Rachel's real proud of Jake. Heaven knows why, he was only in that battle for a single turn, though I suppose it was a very crucial single turn.



So, what's next? That looks like a familiar face...



Let's move out and see what's what, then!



I don't have a good feel for the geography of this continent.

Please, think on it no more. You are from Macro Land--this is my homeland. Besides, escorting a beautiful lady such as yourself is a gentleman's duty and honor.

Oh god, he's one of those guys.

Now then, I believe the Allied Nations have been fighting in this region. I've heard their company includes COs from several nations. I am curious to see if they are really as good as rumor has it.

They certainly are. I fought alongside some of them in the last great war.

Ah, is that so? I would welcome the chance to witness their skills myself.

It smells like cordite. I think we're here!

'Sup! You're from Green Earth, right? We've been waiting for you to show up.

My companion is Jess. I am called Javier. May I ask your name, young sir?

Word. I'm Jake. I'm psyched that you guys are joining our crew.

Jake and Javier talk like they're from two completely different worlds, I love it.

Ah, thank you. The people are talking about your valorous deeds. Yet egos feed on such talk and can grow quite overstuffed.

Don't I know it...

At least you learned your lesson. ...Right?

I, Javier, would see if your abilities match the name you've built for yourself.

What? You wanna test my skills? You better check yourself!

Test battle? We got an audition for these two? The nerve of some people.

Grimm, YOU fucking-

Keep your trap shut, Grimm!

Yeah, what he said.

Fine. If you want a taste of this, you're on! And don't think I'm going to hold back--my dude, Rose, I want you front and centre. Let's show them what the Allied Nations can do with their finest tacticians! And please, for once...no backchat!

Yes, ma'am!

Ready and waiting, Commander.

You have my gratitude. Shall we, Jess?

Sounds good to me. This is a good chance for us to get to know each other.

Haw haw! Youth's a beautiful thing. You've even got my old ticker pumping.

You sure that's not an oncoming heart attack, Sensei?

My dude, you can't just say--oh, well. There's an ideal location nearby. We'll hold the trial there.

All right! It's go time!

And indeed, it's go time! Let's check out the map and...

see...

what...



What the FUCK is that.

Dude! There's a crazy big tank parked at their HQ!

Green Earth's weapons development division have been working on that since the last war. I have some familiarity with it--it was financed in part by Yellow Comet. It looks like they're close to perfecting the design.

It's freakin' huge!! Think it can actually move?

It's said to be the most heavily armored, hardest-hitting ground unit ever fielded. It looks pretty slow, though. I wonder if we can even scratch it...

Allow me to tip our hand. Tank units under Jess's command are poetry in motion. As for myself, I have modest skill with com towers--ignore them at your peril.

Ah, OK, he's a com tower specialist. Interesting!

I challenge you to defeat my troops and the megatank within 15 days! If you accomplish this mission, I will gladly bend the knee to your skill.

Rose, are you thinking what I'm thinking?

Of course.

They've yet to build a tank that Dave fucking Ruston and Vanessa Kita Farid cannot kill.

Oh. I was not thinking what you were thinking.

Dammit, Rose, get on my wavelength.

Are you seriously considering sending an foot unit against the megatank?

If it's possible, absolutely. Imagine it: the Ultimate Disrespect on the ultimate grounded vehicle...I have to try.

For heaven's sake...it's a good job this mission is non-lethal.

So! The map:





The red team start up north with just a small handful of troops, whilst the blue team surround the enemy, with their HQ off to the right. I want to pull off the Ultimate Disrespect if I can, so that may factor into your votes, I dunno if anybody specialises in "infantry doing suicidal things". But as per, two teams, two COs on each team, go nuts - Rachel, Jake, Max, Colin, Sasha, Sensei, and Grimm.

Time to take on Green Earth!

***

Update 34 (Intermission) - The Bet